What Should You Do? Ways To Be There - Episode 19

As we continue to talk about ways to be there, we are introducing a new monthly feature, “What Should You Do?” We will explore insights and advice from students, as they respond to situations about bullying.

Transcript

Hey. Welcome back to "PACERTalks about Bullying". I'm Bailey. Thanks for joining us.

This month we're talking all about ways to be there, whether it's as a student, as an adult, or as a community member. This week we're really excited to be launching a new monthly feature in our video series titled "What Should You Do?" which explores advice and insight for students responding to bullying situations.

Today we're at a bowling alley with a group of high school students who are part of a club that emphasizes inclusion of students with disabilities. In today's episode of "What Would You Do?" we'll be describing a scenario to students about a bus ride. We'll have them think about various responses and the impact that it has for everyone involved. Now imagine this. You're in fourth grade riding the bus home. You're sitting next to your friend, Sam, and your other friend, Jesse, is sitting in the seat in front of you. A third grade student named Chris asks Jesse if she can sit with him. Jesse laughs and says, "You can't sit here. This seat's full." Chris looks scared and moves away. You feel bad about what Jesse said to Chris but your friendship with Jesse means a lot. What is the impact for everyone involved if you simply don't do anything, just ignore it, and hope that it won't happen again?

Your good friend is probably going to keep on doing the same thing. And then the younger kids who see this are going to get on the bus and be scared to be there and then they're going to be like, "Oh, when I get that old I guess it's okay for me to do the same as well."

If I just ignore it, but Chris will still feel left out, feel like he has no friends on the bus. And Jesse will still feel like he's still able to keep laughing and not including people.

I don't laugh or anything whenever someone's new. I just like stay by them and tell everyone stop being bullying or laughing at the new person.

I think the impact would be, I mean my and Jesse's friendship would be okay but the other person that was trying to sit there may think that I don't notice them or I don't care about them. So I mean I wouldn't really want that so.

Well, if you just hope that it doesn't happen again, it's not really helping the situation anymore. It probably will happen again because kids are just going to think that nothing is going to happen even if they say something like that. So I mean definitely speak up.

If you do nothing, nothing will ever change.

What is the impact for everyone involved if you just simply laugh along at what your friend, Jesse, said?

It makes the other kid feel really bad. And it would definitely make me feel bad.

I think Chris feels pretty sad and then you're enabling Jesse so Jesse kind of just gets to walk all over, gets a seat to himself on a full bus. That's not really cool. So probably not the best option for sure if you just laugh along.

Well, the younger kid, he feels a little sad whenever everyone tries to laugh at her or him. It just creates an example for other students around you that you don't care or that maybe that they're not important, that the younger student isn't important to you, which they are. They're important.

But what is the impact for everyone involved if you share with Jesse about a time when an older student wouldn't let you sit with them and that even today you still remember how that felt?

I think it would make him think about how he made that younger person feel and I think he would rethink about letting somebody sit by him on the bus.

I would him advice about it, say, "Maybe you could try this," like ask him, say, "Hey, you want to hang out." [Inaudible] make like a bond with him and I'd see where that goes.

I guess it just creates an example of like a thing to do and [inaudible] example to Jesse that you care about others and it affected you and it can affect younger students every time that you would do something like that.

When everyone kind of like stop and think about, oh, not act, like just saying those few sentences actually does make like someone feel really bad about themselves and probably make them second guess about what they're going to say next time.

So what is the impact for everyone involved if you'd stop the younger student, Chris, tell them that they didn't deserve what happened and that not all older kids act like that?

It would not only make Chris feel better, it would like show him what to do in the future, but also like show your friend like that's not okay. That's not who I want to be friends with. I know you're better than that.

If I like told Chris that not everybody acts like that, he'll feel better that he can trust somebody and be included.

Well, I think Chris should like starting putting people in their lives and not like leaving people out if they want to sit by them. I think he should let them sit by them. Maybe they could talk and just have a bond and have fun.

I think that would be a really mature way and I think it would help Chris by letting him know that there are people out there who care and -- .

Everyone will feel included and he'll feel more safe in the environments that he's put in.

Well, I think Jesse, if he's your good friend, he'll understand that. I mean you could do that and then Chris feels welcome. Chris can get a seat. Everyone wins in that situation.

Thanks again to all the amazing students that provided insight for this video. As you can tell, it's not always easy knowing what you should do but hopefully this advice gives you some ideas on handling and finding a response that works best for you. We'll see you right back here next week. And remember, together we can all help create a world without bullying. See ya.