Meet Eloise - Episode 15

We are thrilled to have a very special guest this week on PACERTalks About Bullying. In episode 15, meet Eloise, a teen advice columnist. She talks about her experience of sharing advice about bullying with teens across the world.

Transcript

Hey, welcome back to PACER Talks About Bullying. I'm Bailey. Thanks for joining us.

On this week's episode, we are so excited to have Eloise with us. Eloise has been working with PACER for just over two years and writes an amazing advice column called Ask Jamie, where she answers questions from teens all around the world. Thanks so much for being here today.

Thanks. I'm happy to be here.

So can you tell me a little built more about your column Ask Jamie? What is it and how does it work?

Yeah, so essentially it's a peer-to-peer advice column designed for students who are experiencing bullying, witnessing bullying, perpetrating bullying, or really anything else that has to do with going through school. I really wanted this to be a place where students could talk to somebody who was non-judgmental, who also had a relatively immediate connection with what it's like to go through school, especially in the era of social media, and where it's sort of a third party, so I'm not involved in the situation. And so I always like to describe myself as sort of the stepping stone to get to the next place. Logistically the way it works is anybody who has internet access can go to PACER's Teens Against Bullying website, write a question, and make sure to add your e-mail or else we can't respond. And then you submit it. And if you submit a question, I will respond. And it's really just an opportunity for students to find help, and I essentially write a map for what to do with a situation.

That's amazing. That's so cool. As you hear from hundreds of kids, are there any kind of common themes that you hear from the kids that write into you?

The number one thing I see, this is sort of a common thread through all of them, is that everybody has this sort of feeling of feeling alone. But, of course, from my perspective, it's really kind of a terrible irony that like I'm looking at all these questions, and everybody together is feeling like they're alone. No one is alone in feeling alone. And I know that doesn't necessarily make that feeling any easier to deal with. But I think it can be really an important thing to remember, that you're not the only person who's experienced this, and that because of that, there are a lot of people who can offer you support and guidance based off of their own experiences and the fact that they've come out of that. And so I think it's a really amazing sign of resilience, and reminding kids that, you know, you can get out much this and things will get better.

Absolutely. I'm sure it makes a huge difference for them just to hear from you that they are not the only person in the world going through this, and that you're there to support them and that there's adults that care.

Yeah.

And for our audience, what advice would you have for them about bullying?

I think every single question I write always includes to find help from a trusted adult. I think it is very rare for bullying situations that just end on their own without seeking help. And I understand that it's hard to seek adults' help. And I understand that there might be sort of a strange stigma, especially as you get older. But I also would just advise anybody to make sure that you're not continuing toxic relationships, and that you're taking care of yourself, and that you're just being kind to other people. That's another thing that's really important is anybody, even if you're, you know, a target, a witness or a perpetrator of bullying, you have the power and capacity to be kind, and it's really your choice, and it's incredible power to have. And it can make a huge difference in somebody's world.

Absolutely. And kindness is something that anyone can give too.

Yeah.

It's free. So that is amazing advice. Thanks. So as we wrap up this amazing episode, is there anything else you want to share in closing?

I know that when I was dealing with bullying, a lot of people told me that I just needed to get over bullying, like it was a cold or something. And that's just not how to works. And I was--all of those messages really sort of were internalized. And something I had learned more and more is that it's still important to recognize and be gentle with yourself that it's okay to be hurt. You know, you can't just be like, well, don't feel this way, you know? That's not the way human emotions work. It's okay to be hurt. But the second you start believing what people are saying about you or sort of the messages that are constantly coming in, the second you start believing that, that can be really damaging and create even longer repercussions than the actual bullying itself.

Absolutely.

So that's something I would just say to everybody is it's okay to be hurt. It's natural. But don't believe what people are saying.

Absolutely. That is amazing advice to end this episode on. Thank you so much to Eloise for being here on PACER Talks About Bullying. Join us right back here next week. And remember, when we all stand together, no one stands alone. Bye.