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Message From Someone Who Has Been There
Posted: 1/11/2013
Advice from someone who experienced bullying as a teen.
There are a few things that I felt kept me from ever doing anything that would prevent me from doing what I'm doing today, which is attending University, pursuing a career in Youth/Factual programming.
This would include:
Don't do anything illegal or look into any illegal/harmful
By this, I realised that drugs or crime would've left me with a record, delaying education, and possibly never getting the chance to go to University or any post-secondary school. I refrained myself from many parts of the social aspects of school because of the high amounts of racial intolerance and gang conformity in two schools.
Realise that someday I will turn 18 & realise that high school is just four years.
High school was more or so very isolating, due to the high amounts of racial intolerance and gang confirmity.
The internet is a mixed-reaction, but still very unfortunate way to deal with being abused.
I admit to using the internet to deal being emotionally abused by former legal guaridans, family, as well as teachers in school because I felt nobody else cared enough to do anything. While it is very sad to see kids, myself included look to the internet to seek comfort for abuse, it's likely to continue and could only stop if acton was taken and if counselours were easier to trust, rather than being the "next person who will say they'll listen, but won't.
Committing to Post-Secondary Education.
This is what I'm doing today and I realise that if I ever did anything like follow into crime, trouble, sex/drugs, or do something harmful (suicide, addiction, self-harmonisation) would have prevented me from pursing education and a career.
By: Trevor
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Caught Being Nice
Posted: 1/11/2013
An idea submitted by a young student to encourage positive behavior.
Maybe we could hand out a prize to each person when we see them being nice. So then all they want is the prize and to get the prize they need to be caught being nice so then they will have no choice but to be nice!
Hopefully it will work wish me luck!
By: Hannah
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Stay Strong
Posted: 1/11/2013
Dear World,
My name is Allison. I’m 14 years old almost 15. I’ve been bullied for years. It was mostly verbal, and emotional bullying for years, then in 6th grade it stopped. I thought, oh yeah it’s all over. Well I was wrong. Then 7th grade came. It got bad. People were pushing, me and it got really violent. It started off verbal, and emotional again, then it got to violent for me.
In 7th grade after all this started up I started to harm myself. I would bite my one arm when I was really down. There were times where I didn’t really want to do anything to be anywhere anymore. My mom ended up getting very ill near the beginning of the year of 2012. She was diagnosed with cancer. It hurt a lot. I got make fun of all the time because of my mom being very sick. It got to that point where I didn’t want to go to school anymore.
There was a time last school year when I ended up getting bullied online. When that went down that was the last straw. I was so hurt, that I went to school and went in to the principals office and talked to her. I told her how bad I feel and what is going on. That quickly got resolved but the rest was ignored.
Then this year came. The 8th grade. It was going good so far. I wasn’t hurting myself, until the 4th day of school. I got dis-included in school at the lunch table. That day I sat by myself. That was when I noticed that I couldn’t do this by myself. I then contacted thehopeline.com . They are helping me so much.
Right now I am still being bullied severely. Just recently I tried to make sure a friend was safe, but well that failed. She turned on me and sent threatening messages to me online, stating that she wanted to beat me in the face and that the world would be a better place with out me. It was really bad stuff she was saying to me. Then we got back from break and she brought it to school. One day I said “I’m done!” I went straight to the principal and told her that I am scared of being in school or even near school. We got together with the bully herself, the counselor and the principal and me, it got worse. We talked, but nothing happened, until now we got the cops involved, but they aren’t doing much though. It’s so hard for me not to cry anymore. Every day I wish that it would get better, and that none of this would be happening.
I’m staying so strong for those that need help. I’m in charge of a anti-bully group at school, and is a big anti-bully person myself. I have a blog called, "stayingstrongforyou.blogspot.com". I’ve also made a poster board for anti-bullying, with that song "Why" by Rascal Flatts.
Please don’t forget that your not alone. Stay strong, and don’t give up.
Thank you for reading my story.
By: Allison
"COOL"
Posted: 1/11/2013
I have been bullied before, but it wasn't as painful as how my classmate was being bullied.
It all started on our freshmen year in High Schoo. He was not so cool and people would call him weird. I have to admit I also called him weird, but I never really meant it.
Kids in my school especially in my class would just . . . well . . . say he's gay, stupid, causing us trouble, etc. By then I was already feeling bad for him.
No one stood up for him. Until someone called him something that really disgusted me (it has something to do with vulgarities) and they started pushing him around after he tried to fit in.
I told them that what they are calling him was wrong and they shouldn't be doing that and it was bad enough that they called him gay. The guy thanked me and walked in class while I had to face the bullies, they told me "shut up and don't act like your a hero it doesn't make you look cool" Yeah, sure it made me mad but fighting back won't do anything right? So, I just replied "BULLYING DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL EITHER".
After a few days they still talk behind my back. Well, you know what bullies may still bully, but we just have to wait to see them turn over a new leaf.
By: Anonymous, 13
CLIMBING THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN
Posted: 1/7/2013
In September of 2012, Nicki Francis will join five other women from New Jersey who will climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Located on the border of Tanzania and Kenya, the mountain is Africa’s highest peak at 19,341 feet above sea level. To heighten the experience, each of the climbers came up with a unique way to bring awareness to the organizations that have helped their families in a personal way.
Nicki chose PACER Center. She is climbing to bring out a voice of courage to help people recognize the many struggles families live with every day. She is also climbing for her son who has sensory processing disorder and her daughter who was recently diagnosed with dyslexia. She wants people to understand that things happen for a reason and these life changes have only given her a stronger perspective on what it means to live and accept the life you have been given. “I climb for the courage to end bullying,” she writes on the team’s website. “Young people need courage every day to be true to who they really are… I am climbing for the courage to be the voice of the children I work with every day who are truly amazing but have been dealt a very unfair hand in life.”
Together, these six women are setting out on a journey with the hope to gain a voice in order to recognize the many organizations that have done so much and continue to give full support to families in need.
By: Anonymous
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The Table
Posted: 1/3/2013
My older sister was bullied growing up. She had virtually no friends up until high school and used to get in the car after school and cry nearly every day. It was beyond painful for me to see her deal with that and I would never wish it on anyone.
I went to the same school my sister did and my best friend, Bekah, and I decided that we were going to eliminate bullying in our grade. We started by finding the kids in our class that were tortured the most by our classmates and ate with them every lunch.
Then we started to partner with them on projects, talk to them outside of class, and hang out with them after school. Some upper classmen saw what we were doing and joined in with us.
Together we formed The Table, a group made up of a mix of the most popular and most bullied kids from 7th grade to Seniors. The people I met by forming this group are some of the best people I have ever met and are all still my friends today.
The youngest of the original group all graduated last year, but my sister, Bekah, and I passed on the legacy to our younger brother and to this day bullying in our school has all but disapeared. I want to encourage everyone on this site that it can be done.
We can stop bullying in schools. Take a stand, and never give up. You are more brave than you give yourself credit for.
By: Rachele, 19, Texas
“iStand” and Citrus Grove Elementary
Posted: 1/1/2013
In 2012, Shawna Hixon and Lana Barros from Citrus Grove Elementary in Palm City, Florida led an innovative program, “iSTAND”, which they designed to creatively engage students to take action against bullying. In an interview with Shawna, she provides information about the origin of the initiative, what it took to be successful, and the resources for starting an iSTANDER group at your school.
Shawna writes, “At the end of the 2011-2012 school year, while going over the SAC survey that students complete every year, I was alarmed at how many students were concerned with bullying incidents at our school. I thought that if it was a strong enough feeling for them to mention it on the survey, then it was worth looking into and investigating further. I had always thought of bullying being a problem in the middle and high schools. To my surprise, it was just as big of a problem at the elementary level. Unfortunately, at this level, children do not understand that it is not okay, it does not have to happen and there is somewhere to turn. I was then on a mission to bring the survey to the attention of our administrators in hopes to start a bully awareness club at our school.”
Shawna shared that in her research she discovered two elements that seemed critical for success. The first was about funding, like most schools, hers had minimal budget for new activities, so it needed to be something that required minimal resources and financial commitment. The second, was based on how to best engage students on the issue, her research showed that students were more likely listen to and follow peers rather than adults. With those two things in mind, she decided on an approach that was student oriented with strong, influential peers and hands on ideas made from scratch.
The next step was to secure permission from administration, and once she had the “go-ahead”, she approached Mrs. Lana Barros for her help and support. Together, they worked on a name for the group, ideas such “Bully Busters”, “Stomp Out Bullying”, were suggested, but none seemed to fit. They didn’t want students walking around like Ghostbusters, jumping in to try to solve issues on their own or anything that may look like we wanted students to take things into their own hands. Shawna said that, “as we were researching different ways to deal with bullying situations that were appropriate for students of our age levels, we noticed that a lot of scenarios encourage students to take a stand. To stand up for friends who may be getting bullied, to stand up to the bully if it’s their self who is the target and to take a stand to spread the word about bully awareness. As a result, “iStand” was born. During one of our first meetings, I was explaining to the kids what our mission would be, which is to promote bully awareness, so that students know others are watching and will take steps to interject instead of standing by and letting it happen. Their role would be to model positive behaviors, to encourage others to take a stand by using the tools we discuss during our meetings and to take a stand themselves if they see bullying either by standing up or getting help when needed. Then, voila, the phrase, “Be an iStander, not a bystander”, came out. It just fit and the students loved it.”
Now that the group had a name, they needed activities. Shawna, knowing that they were proceeding with a budget, went online, and this is where she found PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center. On the site she found numerous resources to use with the club. She shared that, “they decided to declare a “Bully Awareness Week” and include activities such as a poster contest with the theme, “Be an iStander, not a bystander”, “iStand for……….” cards that the whole school filled out and we displayed in the atrium while spelling out “iStand” with them, an “I am different” chain piece to where each student wrote something on their piece that made them different, then we linked them all together to show that we can all be different but still respect each other and get along. On the last day we had a “Wear your favorite team” shirt to go along with the being different, but still being friends idea.”
The initial response from the students was overwhelming positive and that’s when they knew that “iSTAND” was going to make a difference.
When asked the keys to being successful with the initiative, Shawna said,
- The key to bully awareness is to keep the awareness visible.
- iStand does this by teaching the tools that students can use through skits portraying actual school incidents that the students encounter at various times of the day done by the iStand group.
- Examples would be the playground, the cafeteria, extended day, in the hallways, in the classroom, etc. We get this information by having student feedback discussions during our meetings. It’s at this time that we get to see bullying through the student’s eyes as well as how they feel it is being handled by teachers and/or administration at our school.
- We also keep awareness visible through posters students have made, showing the videos our iStand group makes on the morning school news, on stage skits during early release assemblies and varies activities we may come up with that involve the whole student body.
- Our guidance counselor, Mr. Scholl, has also started referencing our iStand group when talking to students about bullying and character counts, explaining to the classes what being an “iStander, not a bystander” represents.
Shawna also has plans for the future, which include:
- Share the iStand program with other schools. We have found that awareness through our students is the best way to get the message out there. Using the iStand group as tools through skits, videos and modeling behavior keeps the budget low and the interest from their peers high. We use online resources, such as the PACER site which has a lot of valuable tools, as well as others you can find on the internet. Using “iStand “ in elementary schools across the board would not only increase awareness at an early age, but also give school groups a chance to share ideas of what activities are working to bring and keep the awareness alive among the students and staff.
- Create a branch of “iStand” to incorporate it in the middle schools, using the campaign name, “Demonstrate Don’t Intimidate” slogan. In the elementary schools we use “Be an iStander, not a bystander”. While we can still use that in the middle schools, we also want to focus on those students with strong personalities to be an example and use that strength to demonstrate positive role modeling among their peers. At the elementary level, even though they happen, we try to keep all of the grim consequences of bullying out of the meetings and activities. At the middle school level we will go a little more into the desperate measures that students may take to escape the pain of and avoid bullying, both at school and through technology (internet, cell phone, etc.), in order to target the specifics of bullying at their age level.
Shawna has offered to share several of the resources from the toolkit that she and Lana developed, these free resources include:
“We can do so much with so little if it’s presented in the right ways. Just knowing someone is watching, listening and willing to stand up could mean the world to that one person who dreads going to school every day.” Shawna Hixon
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I Hope!
Posted: 12/20/2012
Hello,
I have been bullied a lot. And i mean a lot. From Kindergarten To grade 3 my life was perfect. But in grade 4 i moved schools. That's when it all began. I made 2 friends on the first day of school. They were barely my friends though, we barely talked and they ditched me all the time. Everyone in that class hated me.
There was this one kid named Noah! He was the worst. Everyday they picked on me. Called me cocky and stupid and mean and ugly. I cried so often. It hurt a lot. I have been cutting myself since that year. In grade 5 i made a so called best friend. Her name was Victoria. We got in a lot of fights but one day we just stopped talking forever. I don't know why. But during when we stopped fighting and the end of the year (a few months) she got me in trouble for a bunch of stuff i didn't do. She got me suspended 4 times even though i did nothing. I dont understand why she hates me so much she turned the whole class against me. No one . Not even my parents or brothers and sisters believed me.
In grade 6 I had high hopes. I ddint have anyone in my class from grade 5. Although, i had Noah. Grade 6 and 7 we have the same class in our school! Its hard. He was awful to me. When my friend came to sit with me he yelled "why are you going to sit with her? Shes disgusting."
I luckily have a lot of friends and i talked to the guidance councilor. I don't think she really cares though, or she thinks nothing is really going on with me. He still makes fun of me to this day. I never get a break. If someone says one mean thing to me it ruins my day.
I am over dramatic and i don't always like myself. But i am working on it. I have super supportive friends and an amazing brother. The one thing that is bad... Is that only a handful of my friends know. No family and no one else. Well i know it can only get better.. I hope!
By: Saadia
Not Your Average Schoolyard Bully
Posted: 12/20/2012
Chase Serota and Dylan Zeiff are seventh grade students at Jericho Middle School in Jericho, New York. They first began to produce this documentary in their Project History class for the annual National History Day Competition. The documentary, titled "Not Your Average School Yard Bully: Reforming How Schools React to the Bullying Epidemic" tracks the changes in school responses to incidences of bullying following the tragedy at Columbine High School in 1999. The boys learned about the many changes in perceptions about bullying, school rules, and local and national legislation put in place to protect students from being bullied.
Although Chase and Dylan initially set out to document historical changes and reforms, after many months of researching and creating their documentary, a spark ignited within them. They were deeply affected by what they learned, including the devastating, negative impact of bullying on kids throughout the United States. Chase and Dylan developed a passion for promoting a powerful bullying prevention message. They strongly believe that students, who come to school each day to learn, should not have to be afraid of taunting, teasing, discrimination, or harassment.
Chase and Dylan have come to realize that every person can make a difference by taking a stand against bullying and reaching out to others who have been bullied. They hope to make a difference by sharing this documentary.
The documentary is available on YouTube at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awrqnyy5i_I&feature=my_liked_videos&list=LLSLVQOtjGSn2-wqaQAzB_RA
By: Chase Serota and Dylan Zeiff
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Thoughts from Primary School Students
Posted: 12/17/2012
We think that bullying is totally against the rules and that it should stop now!
Also, we think that nobody should bully because its hurts peoples feelings and the people feel that they have no friends and that they are forever alone.
Nobody should be treated like that, we think people should make posters and stick them up around and then people might realise what they are doing to others and apologise to those who they have treated badly.
We think that bullies should have kind friends not bullying friends.
WE ARE AGAINST BULLYING!
By: Brodie and Danni
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