Real Friends
Posted: 10/23/2014
Today is Unity Day (part of National Bully Prevention Month), and to show solidarity, I will tell my story of being bullied, and how it affected my life, even when it seemingly ceased. I'm not doing this, seeking sympathy or to "out" anyone (I will not mention specific names), rather I want to display how I have come out strong, unlike others who could find no way out, in their minds.
It was the beginning of sophomore year, of high school. My "best friend" (since 6th grade), and I had been inseparable for quite some time. I hadn't seen much of her during the summer, as she had made new friends, but that didn't matter much, because I had made new friends too (if anything it was a fantastic notion, that we could all be friends). It didn't exactly work out that way. As I got closer with others, she seemed to get farther away, even though I had desired to meet her new friends. Social media was relatively new (myspace, specifically), and her new friends had new profiles, so I added them (naturally). After many attempts to meet up with these friends, and many pleasant conversations on social media, I soon discovered that her new friends, were actually fake. Sure, they existed somewhere, they were actual people, but they weren't her friends; she didn't even know them. She had made up all of these elaborate stories about fun times, all of these myspace profiles/posts, fake conversations on the phone, she even told me how one of her new friends' parent died, and how she was trying to console him, etc. It was completely out of hand, and went on for several months - over 5/6 (before I even caught on). I found out it was all a lie, because I found the Real profiles of the Real people, and spoke with them on IM. They themselves couldn't believe it, they had never even heard of her. I told one of my friends, but swore her to secrecy, I mean, I was absolutely devastated.
People at school started treating me differently because I was spending more time with others (my class size was relatively small, and shared nearly every class with the same people), and one of them actually went out of their way to IM me, telling me that I was nothing with out my long time best friend, and that my new friends would dump me in a heart beat, that I had better get MY act together(my "best friend" was an athlete, and not just an athlete, "The Athlete". She was at the top of the food chain, at a school that prided itself on athleticism).
Well of course I was upset, and I finally had the courage to confront her, after not only receiving those IM's, but at the urgency of a friend, a real friend. To make this short, she confessed to everything, and begged me not to tell anyone. Of course I agreed that I wouldn't, I was afraid that people would think she was insane, and I pleaded with her to seek help. I still loved her (I still love her and send positive energy her way), but there was no way I could stay friends with someone whom I couldn't trust.
There were many dark days that followed. There were days that I didn't get out of bed, that I didn't go to school, because I dreaded walking through the double doors, to arrive at english class, where I was forced to publicly recite essays, and work that I had put much of my emotions into (which I cried, while I attempted to do so), only to have to display them, to the very people that despised me, because I wouldn't tell them what happened between us. I kept my word, and I didn't say a thing about it, a time when everyone wanted to know everyone else's business, when gossip spread like a forest fire. I was getting so much hate and negative energy thrown my way because I wouldn't speak about it, I would simply say, "go ask her what happened, I'm not telling". I could even feel some teachers changing their tune with me, and a friend even got some of the hate from fellow classmates, sometimes. At one point a classmate confessed to me, "I wish I could bring a hammer to school, and hit you over the head with it". How could I tell the school; the principal? In my mind, at that time, it was called being a knark. Now I know, it's called standing up for oneself.
Luckily I had friends that stuck by me. That same friend that I was told, would dispose of me, is actually one of the greatest beings in my life. Classmates eventually stopped bullying me, but walking through the school doors was a constant reminder. I would still have this endless anxiety that paralyzed me, and am so thankful I overcame it, with time. After high school, I felt free, and I found myself, and if something like that were to happen again, I know with great certainty, that I would let my voice be heard. Bullying doesn't just happen by classmates in grade school, it happens in college too, by students and professors, as well as people at your work place. If you feel as though you are being bullied, or you see it happening to someone else, be vocal. There is always someone that will listen, heck I'll listen!
By: Dora
