Who I Am

Posted: 4/29/2014

I love my family very much but as you can imagine telling them I was gay was something they had not experienced or understood especially, as we all lived in the suburbs in a sheltered life. So I tried to fit in and hide but I suddenly had a meltdown and couldn’t do it. I couldn’t handle the ignorance I was surrounded by in my daily life. One morning I heard a voice inside me say, “Get out of your bed. I made you perfect just the way you are. There is nothing wrong with you.” And so I had an awakening that morning. I realized I am trying to change according to what people and society expectations are. BUT what if they are all wrong? What if I can change the world with my view?

I thought about all the things people said, from school, from home, from friends who ended up not being my true friends. And the first line I wrote down was, “I’m sick of being someone else for you and I’m so sick of holding back.” Why should I hold back or be someone I’m not to fit in? I don’t need anyone’s permission. Not the kids at school or the friends or family because on my own I can stand. I will only find happiness when I am proud of me and who I am! That is the story. I have finally found that happiness within myself whether the world agrees or not, and I am proud of who I am.

This song allowed me to cry out everything I had stuffed inside my chest and locked away. I cried and cried as I wrote it. The reason I wrote it was so I can not only heal but so I could also touch other people who are going through the same thing as me. And help them HEAL as well. Anyone who has felt unworthy or unloved…this is our song to take that back!

By: Ray Isaac