You Will Get Throught It

Posted: 5/11/2012

When I was in 8th grade I was bullied by my 4 best friends.  Or so I thought we were best friends until the one girl got the rest of them to turn on me.  It was boiling up and there were times where I had feeling where the one girl didn't really like me, but I didn't think she would go to the extreme that she did and get the other girls to turn on me too.

I was always a happy go lucky girl growing up. I had many friends and was an outgoing person always smiling. Not so much anymore. I was receiving threats through the internet about how worthless I am, what they were going to do to me, and heaven forbid, if I tell anyone it will get worse.

Oh, and when I showed my parents and they found out I was told "you crossed the line, you thought it was bad now, wait until you see what's next".  I was scared out of my mind to go to school. I was a straight A student, and then turned into someone who didn't turn in their work and dropping to Cs and Ds.  At this point I was scared out of my mind to go to school. Everyone looked at me weird because I was this depressed person that exploded at everyone.

I couldn't keep a friend anymore because I let my insecurities get the best of me. Who likes being around a debbie-downer? No one, and that's what I was left at. The school didn't care. The school told me they were filing my papers away with the proof which they actually just threw them away. I was told if they ever did anything to me in school to go to them immediately. Well the one girl attacked me in gym, I went to my counselor hysterical and she just sent me back to class and didn't even hear what happened. Uhm, what? Because the school made it look like nothing was wrong, I forced myself into thinking the same.

So when I was sitting in my room alone at night dreading school the next day, all alone, I didn't know what to do. I turned to self harm. From bottling all these emotions in because I didn't find it necessary to bring up to my parents or anyone because I was basically told its okay by my school I just kept to myself.

I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I cut myself constantly. I thought about how much easier it would be for me to just leave, run away and never come back, to just end my life right then in there.

Whats the use going everyday scared, alone, sad, depressed when I could end the nightmare that I was living in? I didn't though, and looking back I am so thankful that I didn't because I wouldn't be here today able to tell my story, and experience the things I have been able to experience since that time.

The bullying didn't stop until the police got involved. ;Still to this day that leading girl still finds anyway possible to terrorize me.

The bullying didn't only affect me. It also affected my family. My family has never been the same since. We use to be a close family, now we can barely stand to be with each other. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't blame myself for that. I was and still am very hard to be around, especially when I'm in one of my moods. It has torn my family completely apart.

The bullying has had long term effects on me that will probably stay with me my whole life. The first thing I have the scars that remind me everyday just what I went through and will never go away. I have major trust issues. I in affect push everyone away from me, including my family. If I don't trust myself, how can I trust anyone else? It's something I have been working on, and am slowly getting better at, but it takes awhile. The thing about this is that it has made me a stronger person. I'm a survivor of bullying, I survived and that the best thing about it. Despite all the relapses I have had and the times that I could have ended things, I'm here today... I'm a survivor. If you are sitting there reading this and your a victim of bullying, your a survivor, or you are surviving bullying at the moment and even though you may feel weak you are strong, stronger than you can ever imagine.

My goal in life is to reach out and help others. I'm going to college and studying psychology and criminology in hopes to a career path to help victims.I have a story to tell and this is where I am starting. I won't stop until I make a difference in at least one person's life.

KEEP SURVIVING, IN THE END ITS WORTH IT. YOU CAN CONQUER THE WORLD, YOU CAN CONQUER YOUR DEMONS, YOU CAN LIVE ON TO TELL YOUR STORY. KEEP SURVIVING AND REMEMBER, IT GETS BETTER!!!

By: Anonymous