Good Advice

Posted: 11/4/2011

Feel picked on? here are some tips that will help you deal with the problem:

Find support from another, more positive group of people not associated with the people picking on you. Make sure they are positive supportive people and spend time with them doing things you love.

Limit or eliminate contact with those who are picking on you.

Find a professional counselor or organization online or by phone that can help you. Usually these are anti-bullying organizations. You can contact them and they can help you find someone to talk with.

Take care of yourself. Eat right and exercise as this will improve your overall health.

Tell your friends and family what is happening to you and write it down so that you can prove that someone is picking on you if you can and show this to an adult if you are under 18.

Ask the person to stop directly and politely the first and second times they do this. Talk to them directly and ask them politely to stop. If that doesn’t work, tell someone who can help you and bring them in as a witness only if you feel physicially safe to do this.

Find other sources of positive activities, things, and people. Instead of focusing on your problems, talk to new friends about your interests and activities and find out about theirs.  Talk about your problems with a counselor, teacher, or other trust-worthy adult or peer to which you know you can confide.

Educate yourself on what healthy and unhealthy relationships should feel and be like and follow those guidelines when you build and maintain relationships to keep relationships strong and healthy. You can also improve your social skills if you don’t feel socially confident by reading books and learning from reliable sources on the internet. Developing your confidence will help you make new healthy friendships and maybe defend against problem relationships.

Vent. Sometimes venting stress to a close friend or other person in your life will help you release the stress of the event, but try not to repeatedly replay one incident in your mind. If you are being picked on, the bullying is NOT your fault.  Bullies like to put the blame on the person they are picking on so don’t let them make you feel like it is your fault or your inferior to them.

Step in if it is safe to do so if you see someone being bullied. Side with the person being picked on and say something positive about them to the bully.

Use the situation to make a change. Sometimes the situation is negative. Take the bully’s comment or the situation and let it teach you what you need to change if there is any validity to the message behind the comment. There, though, is a difference between critism, constructive critism, and bullying. Learn about these and notice the differences if these occur.

Remind yourself of your positive traits if someone picks on you and stand up for yourself without attacking the other person.

Try to be kind the first time. Sometimes people don’t realize that their comments/actions are hurtful or how they come across to you. Politely tell them how you felt about the situation and then say that you would really like (what situation change) in its place.

Always find someone to speak with confidentially about the situations so you don’t deal with bullying by yourself. They could help you find ways to deal with the situation.

Do not give up. Situations pass and things will change for the positive and you will find a better situation.

By: Casey H.