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Youth Tips for Parents:
How to Talk to Your Teenager about His or Her Mental Health

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Many parents may find it difficult to talk to their teenager. It can be even more of a challenge when the teen has a mental health or behavior challenge. The following suggestions are written by teens who are members of PACER’s Youth Advisory Board on Mental Health.

Tips for Engaging Your Child:

  • Ask me if it is a good time to talk. I may want to talk with you immediately when something is on my mind, or I may only share when there aren’t any other distractions and it’s just you and me.
  • Listen to what I say without speaking or interrupting. Sometimes it is hard enough to talk about certain things interrupting me might discourage me from sharing.
  • Show you are interested by looking me in the eye with real empathy. If I avoid eye contact, please understand it is just hard for me sometimes.
  • Sometimes I would rather write you a letter than talk. Allow me to choose my way to communicate.
  • Be patient with me. Sometimes I just can’t follow or find the words; be ready to repeat your questions or statements if I ask you to.
  • Be calm. I may be feeling emotions I can’t control; being calm will help me.
  • My mental health struggles are real. Validate my feelings. Let me know I am important to you and that you are here for me.
  • Give me time and space and allow me to approach you when I am ready to talk.
  • When I am struggling in school, ask me about it in an understanding and calm way. I am most likely already feeling bad about it.
  • Make sure you praise me when appropriate. Otherwise I may think the only time you want to talk is when I have done something you don’t like.
  • I may not always be comfortable talking with you. If appropriate, allow me to talk to another trusted adult to get help.
  • Recognize that I have my own skills, talents, and ideas.
  • Speak to me in a gentle manner. When you yell or swear it hurts me, and I may act out or not talk to you.
  • Realize that you don’t always need to have the last word.