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Misperceptions and Facts
In spite of the significant impact that bullying can have on a target, it often continues to be viewed as acceptable behavior. There are many misperceptions that adults may have about bullying, all of which can lead to minimizing the behavior.
Misperception: Girls don't bully.
Fact: Girls can and do bully. While they do not physically bully targets as often as boys, they will often use verbal and social bullying. Bullying for girls escalates during the middle school years.
Misperception: Words will never hurt you.
Fact: Even though words don’t leave bruises or broken bones, they may leave deep emotional scars.
Misperception: It was only teasing.
Fact: Teasing in which a child is not hurt is not considered bullying. Teasing becomes bullying when the intent of the action is to hurt or harm.
Misperception: Bullying will make kids tougher.
Fact: Bullying does not make someone tougher. It often has the opposite effect—lowering a child’s sense of self-esteem and self-worth. Bullying creates fear and increases anxiety for a child.
Misperception: Some people deserve to be bullied.
Fact: No child deserves to be hurt in any way. Every child deserves to be treated with respect and consideration.
Misperception: Telling a teacher about bullying is tattling.
Fact: Tattling means sharing petty secrets or information about one person with someone else, usually to cause trouble. Telling means reporting a harmful or dangerous situation to an adult to help protect someone. It is okay to tell.
Misperception: Bullying is a normal part of childhood.
Fact: Bullying may be a common childhood experience, but physical or emotional aggression toward others should not be tolerated as a consequence of childhood.
Misperception: Children and youth who are bullied will almost always tell an adult.
Fact: Adults are often unaware of bullying—in part because many children and youth don't report it. Most studies find that only 25%-50% of bullied children talk to an adult about the bullying. Why are children reluctant to report bullying? They may fear retaliation by children doing the bullying. They also may fear that adults won't take their concerns seriously or will deal inappropriately with the bullying situation.
Misperception: Children and youth who bully are mostly loners with few social skills.
Fact: Children who bully can be the kids that are on the fringes of social group, but some research indicates that they can often be the students who are popular or considered “cool”. In many cases, they have friends who provide support for their behavior.
Misperception: Bullied kids need to learn how to deal with bullying on their own.
Fact: Some children have the confidence and skills to stop bullying when it happens, but many do not. Moreover, children shouldn’t be expected to deal with bullying on their own. Bullying is a form of victimization or peer abuse. Just as society does not expect victims of other types of abuse (e.g., child maltreatment or domestic abuse) to “deal with it on their own,” we should not expect this from victims of bullying. Adults have critical roles to play in helping to stop bullying, as do other children who witness or observe bullying.
Source: www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov.
Misperception: Most children and youth who observe bullying don't want to get involved.
Fact: Most children that see bullying don’t like it. They want to help, but don’ know what to do or are afraid to get involved for the fear that the bullying might then happen to them. Bystanders can have a powerful influence in preventing bullying.
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